About Us

 

Kansas City Chapter of P.O.M.C. has been together since 1989 and have continued to provide emotional support to hundreds of parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends and more over the years from Kansas City and surrounding areas. We are the survivors of a murdered loved one. We are parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, spouses, and friends of the victims. We have formed a local support group to help others through their grief.

WHERE WE MEET

Meetings are the first Friday of each month at:

Our Lady of Sorrows
2552 Gillham Rd
Kansas City, MO

Enter from the drive on the north side of the church to the parking lot--there is a sign that says "Hallmark Corporate Entrance". Go in through the rear double doors in the hall connected to the north side of the church.

*Watch TV Channel's and check back on the website in case of severe weather for cancellation of meetings*

WHAT TO EXPECT AT MEETINGS

The first meeting can be frightening. You've already had the world torn from under you--the air sucked away from your lungs by the news that was given to you. It is not a thing you want to accept: someone you love is gone, not accidentally, not from illness, but someone intentionally took his or her life. It is a fact. Your loved one is gone. Now, you are getting ready to go to a meeting with other people who have survived the homicide of their loved ones, and everything is oh, too real. Why put yourself through that?
When you do walk through the doors for the first time, you'll be welcomed...especially if you call a board member to let them know you are coming. It is hard to walk in alone the first time. You'll be asked to sign a registry. Why? We want to send you our newsletter. It has information on our members and upcoming events, as well as articles that may help you...and your loved one's name, both on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. You'll be invited to join our circle. We sit that way so that we all can be included. We go around the circle telling about our loved ones, the murder, the court procedure, difficult things we've faced that month or will face in the month ahead. We ask questions and--usually--one of us has faced that problem and may be able to help. Talking is empowering, but you never have to speak if you're not comfortable doing so, just tell us that and whatever is discussed remains confidential. There are refreshments, and you are welcome to help yourself at any time. Sometimes, we have speakers. These are people knowledgeable about subjects that affect us: police procedure, dealing with the holidays, prison life, court hearings, attorneys, etc. While you may not be interested in all of them, some of them will provide you with vital information In this group a strange thing happens--your family becomes ours. Your child's face is precious to us, too.

WHERE YOU ARE NOW

You are in limbo, living day-to-day, minute-to-minute between calls from the police and Victims' Services.

You are frightened every time the doorbell rings, or a car backfires, or someone looks at you strangely

You are unbearably sad

You are ANGRY

You are tired, but sleep evades you

You are driven to do...something/anything to make things different

You are vulnerable to every innuendo, every whisper that someone might know something

We may lose faith in God, the police, the justice system as the months pass. Friends do not realize the enormity of time needed for our mind and body to recover. Men often cope differently than women.

Expected to be numb, confused, depressed, and unable to stop crying. These are normal reactions    

WHY GO TO A MEETING?

What you face is increasingly common in our world, but that isn't a fact most people want to face. People in your WBM ( World Before Murder) feel sorry for you. But that doesn't mean they'll sit with you while you cry...or rage...or act insane. To do that is to let murder come close to them, as well--to admit that it could happen to someone they love. AND they'll offer advice--things like: try to put it behind you. Keep your chin up. You've been sad long enough. Maybe you should go to_______ for help. I was in an accident once and he helped me. Maybe the police are hiding something from you. You don't need to go to those hearings, it's just protocol. Sound familiar? You probably can add things caring, but unknowing, people have said to you. WHAT YOU ARE LIVING IS A HELL NO ONE BUT HOMICIDE SURVIVORS UNDERSTAND.

Please note that sometimes, especially after your first meeting, the feelings of sadness rush in and are often worsened by the empathy you feel for the others in the group. But in a few days you actually notice you feel better for releasing those emotions with others in the meeting who truly do understand. And, if you give it enough time, you will actually look forward to coming to the meetings because that release, and the sharing and comfort offered from others is something necessary and helpful to allow us to live this journey.

*PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WHAT IS SAID AT ALL POMC MEETINGS IS CONFIDENTIAL AND STAYS WITHIN THE MEETING ROOM!

You'll be invited back, and we hope you'll come.


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  Our email address: kcpomc@yahoo.com or you may use the "contact us" page on this website.

Leader & Grant Writer:                       Julie Gulledge                  Brother                             Kyle Gulledge                        wadej46@aol.com
Co-Leader & birthday cards:              Jennifer Miller                                                                                                          getjen@aol.com

Treasurer & newsletter:                      Mary Gulledge                  Son                                  Kyle Gulledge                       
gullmp33@aol.com
Cards & historian/library:                    Paige Hueser                   Mother                              Nina Whitley                          phueser@kc.rr.com
Secretary & fundraising:                 Misty Kirwan                 Son                               Chris Bartholomew             mistyw@kc.rr.com
Grant Writer:                                       Maria Martinez                 Brother                             Sam Mandacina                     mmandacina@gmail.com
Hospitality:                                          Linda Mandacina             Son                                   Sam Mandacina                     l.mandacina@yahoo.com
                                                   

    

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